My Life Lived with Fat

Statue of fat women

LeeCoursey via Flickr

Hello. So, the title. It says it all; its meaning dependent on the point in my weight loss struggle that spans 25 years. That’s a long time for one thing to more or less dominate a life.

When I first joined Weight Watchers, the summer after 7th grade at age 13, fat (a little extra pudge really) made me feel lonely, sad, and like a stranger in my own body. In my teens and twenties, fat was the reason, I thought, I wasn’t getting dates. In my early thirties, the fluctuations of the amount of fat on my body caused fluctuations in my mood and a profound sadness. Would I ever feel OK with this extra weight? Now, in my late thirties, fat is healing my body. More on this in later posts.

I have been very hesitant to tell my story. It seems everywhere you look someone is talking about “their story” with regards to weight (-loss, -gain, -acceptance). As many of these I read or hear, I find very little insight or sound information about what it is REALLY like to live with extra fat in this culture and what it REALLY takes to heal and lose weight. So, this blog will be a shout in the wilderness I have been lost in for the past 25 years—a wilderness of bad advice, dated information, a billion-dollar diet industry, and an emerging genre of television shows that dehumanizes fat people (dubbed by some as fat porn). I want to tell stories about how I have approached weight loss and getting well.

MANDATORY DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor or a nutritionist or a (fill in the blank). I am just a woman. A woman who got weary of:

  • Going on diets that never worked.
  • Listening to “experts” who have no authentic understanding of the struggle.
  • Hearing overly simplistic views of the obesity problem (Calories in, calories out! Move more!).
  • Being bombarded with insane, conflicting messages about physical appearance.

By reading, I hope you learn something from my story, find GOOD sources of nutrition information, and take a little comfort in knowing that you are not alone. I am trying to find the meaning in the fat that has so dominated my life. Why has it been with me all these years? How did it hurt me? What has it taught me? I will explore these questions with stories and experiences.

Keep in mind: You need to get healthy to lose weight, not lose weight to get healthy.

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